Elder’s Qualifications and Children Questions
Such issues as this cannot be settled by ignoring them, or by pushing aside the subject with “it makes no real difference.” These two positions are not equal. To bind the one without sufficient proof is likely to put one in the unenviable (hard to deal with) position of binding on earth what is not bound in Heaven, or to reject on earth what is bound in Heaven. However, if the elder is not required to have but one child, to bind upon him more is legislating where God has not legislated; but if the elder must have more than one child to qualify, the man with only one child is ineligible. Therefore, this is a study of questions on 1 Tim. 3:4 and Titus 1:6 and is intended for further research into these topics which the writer recommends and continues to study.
I. DO ALL OF A POTENTIAL ELDER’S CHILDREN NEED TO BE FAITHFUL?
A. It is a safe and sure course that is beyond question for a father to have a plurality of children faithful.
1. However, if the text in question was to mean that all children are to be Christians, then if one was too young to obey the Gospel, this man would not be qualified or would have to resign if a child was born to him during his rule.
2. Furthermore, we should not suppose that a man’s children must ALL be old enough to obey the Gospel before he can qualify for an elder.
B. Secondly, should we assume that all his children who are old enough meaning of accountable age, be faithful Christians?
1. Consider this, if an elder has a house full of children, some old enough to be Christians, but none of them are, or if he has only one who is a faithful Christian, how could he say that he would have a good track record realizing that the potential elder has failed to meet this stated stipulation of ruling his house well.
a. Likewise, if his children are filled with rebellion and are known far and wide as public rioters, then he is disqualified for the eldership.
b. The thing is: If all children were Christians it would be to the potential elder’s advantage.
C. Now, Paul says in crystal clear language that if a man has been a failure as head of his home and has not led his own children to the Lord, then how can he take care of the Lord’s church? The question is rhetorical one: he cannot.
1. Consider this: If a brother can convince one of his children to believe, that is, become a Christian, why could he not convince all of them to become Christians?
a. Often, we forget that children have different personalities and some may require more effort than others.
b. However, if a brother has 4 children at home and one or two of accountable age have not obeyed the Gospel, it may very well affect the brother’s influence because some may say that he has not proven to rule his house well or to have his children in subjection with all gravity.
2. Therefore, when you try to lead and not all your children are Christians, people may mock you and resent your trying to tell them how to live when your own family is not faithful.
D. Now, believing children means that they are obedient believers to Christ.
1. Notice: “And brought them out, and said, Sirs, what must I do to be saved? And they said, Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved, and thy house. And they spake unto him the word of the Lord, and to all that were in his house. And he took them the same hour of the night, and washed their stripes; and was baptized, he and all his, straightway. And when he had brought them into his house, he set meat before them, and rejoiced, believing in God with all his house.” (Acts 16:30-34)
E. The point is this: By an elder or potential elder having guided his family and having reared his children to be responsible citizens in society and in the church, a man will have demonstrated the knowledge, ability, leadership, and example which are essential ingredients of a good elder.
1. However, on the other hand, if one has met with failure in rearing his children and guiding his family, he is not likely to be able to be a good elder.
II. CAN A MAN SERVE AS AN ELDER WHO HAS ONLY ONE CHILD?
A. Some say that a man who has one child, provided that child is a Christian, can serve as an elder. However, there are others who claim that if one has 10 children and only one child is faithful to God, not being riot or unruly, then that man has met that qualification needed to serve as an elder.
1. It is often very difficult (some say impossible) for an elder to know how to rule his house if he has only one child?
2. Furthermore, individuals say that a plurality would give him greater variety in handling varying personalities.
3. But, what does the scriptures say?
B. First of all answer this: Did God have it in man that husband and wife should always have one child?
1. While this is not a relevant question to this study, it does propose an interesting view especially when we look deeply into the word of God at children and child.
C. Now there are some things that we need to observe:
1. First of all, we cannot use the language of the Old Testament to refer to the language of the New Testament because they may not be the same words even though they say the same things. So, lets look at some examples in relationship to children.
2. In Gen. 21:7 it says, “And she said, Who would have said unto Abraham, that Sarah should have given children suck? for I have born him a son in his old age.”
a. Now, we know that Sarah had only one child even though the word here says children.
b. However, upon careful examination of the word children, we find the Hebrew word, “ben” which is a noun meaning “a son or child.”
(1) This is the direct male offspring of human parents. (Gen. 4:25, 27:32; Isa. 49:15)
(2) However, this word can also express an adopted child.
c. Furthermore, in Gen. 21:7 the word, “ben” is singular, not “Banim” which is plural.
d. Now, while the Hebrew word, “banim” is plural for children, it was translated in the New Testament as “tekna” meaning children which is only used 52 times in the New Testament, not everywhere the word child or children is used.
(1) Strong’s Number: 5043 (Matt. 2:18, 3:9, 10:21(s), 18:25, 19:29, 22:24, 27:25, Mk. 7:27, 10:24, 10:29, 10:30, 12:19, 13:12, Lk. 1:17, 3:8, 13:34, 14:26, 18:29, 19:44, 20:31, 23:28, Jn. 8:39, 11:52, Acts 21:21, Rom. 8:16, 17, 9:7, 8, 1 Cor. 7:14, 2 Cor. 12:14, Gal. 4:27, 28, 31, Eph. 2:3, 5:1, 8 ; 6:1, 4, Col. 3:20, 21, 1 Thess. 2:7, 2:11, 1 Tim. 3:4, 5:4, Tit. 1:6, 1 Pet. 1:14, 2 Pet. 2:14, 1 Jn. 3:10, 5:2, 2 Jn. 1:13, 3 Jn. 1:4, Rev. 2:23)
(2) Furthermore, there are other words for children and child that are not the same word as, “tekna” nor can they be used interchangeably with each other.
(3) Other Strong’s Numbers: 5207, 3808, 3813, 815, 5040, 1025, 3515, 3516, 5206, 5044, 5041, 5388, 3816.
3. Now, when people use Gen. 21:7, they will also use Gen. 11:30, “But Sarai was barren; she had no child ” and Gen. 16:1, “Now Sarai Abram's wife bare him no children: and she had an handmaid, an Egyptian, whose name was Hagar.”
a. They will say that this means that the word child and children are interchangeable despite what “ben” and “banim” claim.
b. However, Gen. 11:30 is the Hebrew word “valad” which means child or boy (H2056).
c. And, Gen. 16:1 is also the Hebrew word “valad” , yet it has a very different meaning, which means to bear young )H3205(
(1) This is because the word is spelt differently and is not the same word.
(2) This is the same when in Tit. 1:6, some will say the word, “teknon” for children )when the word is child(, but the word is actually tekna which is the plural noun for children
D. Second, Deut 25:5 says, “If brethren dwell together, and one of them die, and have no child, the wife of the dead shall not marry without unto a stranger: her husband's brother shall go in unto her, and take her to him to wife, and perform the duty of an husband's brother unto her.”
1. This is child singular in the singular case.
2. Yet, notice that Matt. 22:24 says, “Saying, Master, Moses said, If a man die, having no children, his brother shall marry his wife, and raise up seed unto his brother.”
3. Now, while they both seem to use the words child and children interchangeably, the word children in Matt. 22:24 is the plural in the general sense and not in the singular case.
E. Third thought is that Rom. 16:16 states, “Salute one another with an holy kiss. The churches of Christ salute you.”
1. Now, are we to assume that since it says churches that we are to suggest that there are several churches and not just one. Certainly not.
a. The word church or churches is actually, “ekklesia’( which means “called out” of Christ.
b. So actually, this is talking about a group )the called out ones(, thus showing its plurality within the singular and only strengthens Titus 1:6 for plurality of children.
F. Fourth, Eph. 6:1 says, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.”
1. Now, this is the word “tekna” in the plural but, does this suggest that if you have an only child and not a plurality, then your child does not have to obey their parents? Certainly not.
2. We can easily see that in Eph. 6:1, Paul is addressing the general assembly mixed with men, women and children.
3. However, in Titus 1:6, he is addressing the individual man asking him to seek out those qualities within himself.
G. So, can a man serve as an elder who has only one child?
1. Notice, in 1 Timothy 3 and Titus 1, everything is used in the singular and never in the plural except for: Elders )presbuterous( in every city and Children )tekna( which both indicates more than one.
2. Also, do you not believe that the Holy Spirit could have made it much plainer through Paul's pen if He intended a man to be qualified to be a bishop with only one child.
a. This is how God wants the church done.
b. He did not do it to be mean.
3. Furthermore, there are matters of a father helping children deal with problems among themselves )i.e., among siblings( whereas, the man who has only one child would miss that advantage which is so common among the church.
4. For an elder needs this excellent experience because some of the major problems that elders must deal with among the local congregation are sibling )adopted Christians( rivalries.
H. So, not only is the word plural, “tekna,” )meaning children: more than one(, the context of the passage demands for proved experience in rulership in the family situation as a prerequisite and many times the situations of one child do not lend themselves to any demonstration of that ability for the simple reason that there is little give and take in such a family.
III. CAN AN ELDER STILL SERVE IF ALL HE HAS IS A FAITHFUL ADOPTED CHILD?
A. Well, the house of 1 Timothy 3:4 is composed of members )literally inmates( of his household whether his own, orphans or others placed in his charge.
B. Some when questioning this is missing the point that the qualification is one of rulership and not biology or fatherhood.
IV. CAN A ELDER CONTINUE TO SERVE WHEN A CHILD DIES?
A. If an elder has two children living under his roof who have been faithful, dedicated Christians for five years, who cannot be accused of riot or being unruly both being in subjection to their father with all gravity, but one of the children dies suddenly in some sort of accident, the elder’s ability to take care of his own house has not changed.
B. The fact is, he had the qualifications before the child’s death and he retains the qualifications after the child’s death.
1. If one was serving as an elder and an event like this took place, he would still be able to say that he has faithful children: 1 who is deceased and one who is living.
a. Nothing has changed although the congregation may see it differently.
b. In addition, this is not the same as the father with an only child because this elder was never the father of an only child.
c. Furthermore, he had proved his ruleship very well before the passing of his child.
2. Let us remember that the qualifications for elders were not given to keep men out of office who had already proven themselves faithful and blameless, but had suffered the loss of their families.
V. IS AN ELDER STILL QUALIFIED IF ALL HIS CHILDREN LEAVE HOME?
A. When a man leaves home such in marriage, he is leaving his father and mother and shall cleave to his wife: and the two shall be one flesh? )Genesis 2:24(.
1. Now, regardless if the man left to be married or left just because he was old enough to be on his own, this man is no longer under the tutelage )guardianship, care, protection, teaching, and instruction( of the father.
2. He has left his parents and has begun a new home over which he is the guardian, caretaker, protector, teacher, and instructor.
3. What that person does after he leaves home should not be a determining factor in the subject situations, because when the child leaves his father’s home to start a new home, the father’s responsibility for the child terminates!
4. For, the elder is to rule his own house well, which excludes his child’s house!
B. Furthermore, children will naturally grow up, mature and leave father and mother in order to establish their own homes.
1. Thus, a parent’s authority and supervision cannot be expected to extend further than his own, immediate home.
2. Because, if the Bible teaches that they must stay at home, this would negate Gen 2:24 and the cleaving to a wife by which the children would always have to live at home for an elder to remain qualified and this is not what God intended.
VI. ALONG THE SAME LINE: IS AN ELDER STILL QUALIFIED IF ALL HIS CHILDREN LEFT HOME AND THEY FELL AWAY FROM THE LORD?
A. Proverbs 22:6 says, “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”
1. However, this does not teach that if our children are trained well they will never depart from the faith!
2. Neither does training a child in the way he/or she could go mean to train him or her as a Christian.
3. It simply means to train the child according to, and in concert with, his natural abilities and talents.
B. Therefore, if we do this when the child is grown he will not depart from that for which he has been trained.
C. Furthermore, to suggest that a properly trained child will never depart from the faith goes too far.
1. In fact, such a suggestion clearly implies that it is impossible for the properly trained one to fall from grace which would be contradictory to such passages as Galatians 5:4; I Timothy 4:1; Hebrews 10:26-29, and many others.
I pray that this study has been useful in some way and is by no means completed and final. However, we cannot just blindly believe in something in which we have not properly studied. The Scriptures tells us to, “Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.” )2 Tim. 2:15( This is what this writer has done and continues to do on this topic as well as all other areas of God’s word.
A Study of the words from Tit. 1:6-9 and 1 Tim. 3:1-11
A man ~Singular (tis)
Office of a Bishop ~Singular space and Singular individual (episkope)
Good work ~Singular (ergon)
Bishop ~ Singular (episkopon)
Blameless ~ Singular (anepileptos)
One wife ~ Singular (gunaikos)
Vigilant ~ Singular (nephaleon)
Sober ~ Singular (sophrona)
Good behavior ~ Singular (kosmion)
Hospitality ~ Singular (philoxenon)
Teach ~ Singular (didaktikon)
Wine ~ Singular (paroinon)
Striker ~ Singluar (plekten)
Greedy of filthy lucre ~ Singular (aischrokerde)
Patient ~ Singular (epieike)
Brawler ~ Singular (amachon)
Covetous ~ Singular (aphilarguron)
Ruleth ~ Singular (proistamenon)
Own ~ Singular (idiou)
House ~ Singular (oikou)
Children ~ Plural (tekna)
Subjection ~ Singular (upotage)
Gravity ~ Singular (semnotetos)
Steward ~Singular (oikovomon)
Self willed ~ Singular (authade)
Not soon angry ~ Singular (orgilon)
Elders ~ Plural (presbuterous)
Lover of good men ~ Singular (philagathon)
Holy ~ Singular (dikaion)
Just ~ Singular (osion)
Temperate ~ Singular (egkrate)
Holding fast ~ Singular (antechomenon)
Books Used to Determine These Answers:
1. Congregational Development
2. At Work For the Master
3. How To Build a Great Church
4. With the Bishops and Deacons
5. The Elder and His Work
6. Scheme of Redemption
7. Bob Winton Commentary
8. World Video Bible School
9. Scriptural Elders and Deacons
10. Denton Lectures: Timothy and Titus
11. Bible Commentary Textbook Series
12. McClintock and Strong
13. The Complete Word Study Dictionary of Old Testament
14. Brown-Driver-Briggs Hebrew Definitions
15. Matthew henry’s Commentary
16. Robertson Word Pictures
17. Vincent Word Study
18. Keil and Delitzsch Commentary of the Old Testament
19. Complete Word Study Dictionary of the New Testament
20. Mounce Analytical Lexicon
21. Adam Clarke Commentary
22. Gospel Advocate Commentary